Guest Blogger: Abigal Fisher shares about Comparision…The Thief Of Joy

I just have to introduce my sweet freind Abigal! She is genuine, loves those around her so well, loves the Lord, and is one of my besties from Colorado! She is currently writing a book, teaches yoga/ bible study, tutors, has a blog abigailirenefisher.com, and is a mama of 2 precious daughters…I love her heart, her perspective, and what God is teaching her in this season of motherhood. It’s an honor to share her words on my blog! Make sure you check her out on Instagram @abigailirenefisher and check out her website for some encoruaging words!!

Let’s All Be 60

The other day I went on Pinterest to get some ideas for cute fall boots. Typing in “cute fall books” in Pinterest’s search get thousands of photos of cute boots… All worn by absolutely beautiful girls. Now, I am a confident woman. I think I am beautiful. I know I have flaws, but for the most part I love myself and my own skin.

However, that day, looking at “cute boots” I found my internal voice saying to myself, “There are thousands upon thousands of different girls on this page right now, none of them famous, and all of them more beautiful than you.” And you know what, that feeling sucked. I was just looking for ideas for some new boots. I left with no ideas for new boots and a ton of insecurity.

And this doesn’t end with outward appearance. We can compare:

-houses
-jobs
-clothes
-shoes
-makeup
-eating habits
-kids’ bedrooms
-kids’ behavior
-hair styles
-cooking
-school lunches
-craft activities
-holiday decorations
-home decor

Etc.

And the holidays can enhance these comparisons…

Are our gifts as good as theirs? Should we have bought better ones?
Are my cookies even getting eaten?
Do my lights look as good as my neighbor?
Are my decorations sufficient for this space?
Are my boots in season/in style?
Would be nice if we could afford ______?

It never ends. We can find these in the largest or smallest of places and all of them suck the joy out of our holiday and out of our lives.

As the old saying goes, Comparison is the thief of joy – and indeed it is.

So in hopes to stop comparing ourselves so much, and truly enjoy this holiday season, I am titling this article; Let’s

All Be 60. And here’s why.

Winston Churchill had an amazing saying:

When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks.
When you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks.
When you’re 60 you realize no-one was ever thinking about you at all.

Look, holidays are some of our best (and maybe worst) memories. They stick with us. They symbolize the family unit, the bond, and the traditions that make each of our own families, our own.

My mom was always excellent at never having to keep up with the Jones’. She did what was best for our home and our family. We have traditions we are starting with my new family with our two young daughters. Some are traditions we have passed on from our parents and some are new traditions that we are making for our home. It’s important for the kids to have some traditions that are just for our family. It’s what sets us apart. It’s what symbolizes our unity. But none of our traditions will bring stress.

I don’t like clutter – So I already don’t invest in a lot of decorations for each holiday, because I don’t want a lot of boxes to store. We have a few decorations for each holiday that have been passed down, and then the rest my kids make. They want to be a part of it, they feel pride having their work displayed all over the house for family and friends to see. And at the end of the season, we throw them away and we will make new decorations for the following year.

Does my house look like the cover of a Williams-Sonoma catalog? Absolutely not. Do I care? No way!
And when it comes to the cooking, I am not afraid to cater, or delegate dishes, or use a few items that are the forbidden store bought. If it means more time for me, more time for us, more time to converse and laugh, and hug on my family, then sign me up.

So coming back to Churchill, if you are in your 20’s or 30’s – please, don’t worry about what your friends, or neighbors, or social media says your home and you need to look like for the holidays. They don’t know anything.
If you are in your 40’s or 50’s – you have stopped caring. Keep up the good fight!

And if you are in your 60’s – go find a 20 something or 30 something year old – and teach us your wisdom. We want more of that peace that you carry.

If you love decorating your home, and find great joy in it – do it.
If you love making stellar arts and crafts – do it.
If you love cooking a gourmet meal – do it.

If you find these and other holiday ‘to-dos’ steal your joy or bring you into the pit hole of comparison, then abandon them as fast as you can say Saint Nick! Don’t do them! Do less.

Do what you love, acknowledge the traditions which work for your home. Just don’t do anything because some person or some website make you think you need to do that thing to create this perfect holiday experience.

Do what you love and don’t give a damn what the Joneses are doing!
Happy Holidays.